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Archive for the ‘Ethics’ Category

Lucky

I just wrote about my path to relinquishment. Even writing my truth I feel guilty. I feel I need to balance it with happy talk so as not to offend anyone. Which, I do know is an impossible goal, but still I try.

I got lucky. Regardless of how I ended up signing those papers. I got lucky. I got lucky that a wonderful couple’s profile was in the stack sent to me by the facilitation service. I got lucky that they didn’t care about gender or race or distance. I got lucky that they were every bit as fantastic in person as on the paper and on the phone.

I got lucky that they desired openness. I got lucky that our personalities aligned and our openness grew. I got lucky that Kidlet doesn’t remember a time without me visiting. I got lucky that Kidlet was in my wedding. I got lucky that I was in his Bar Mitzvah.

I got lucky.

I am lucky.

I am the exception, but not the rule. Too many don’t get lucky. Too many experience broken promises and closed adoptions. Too many find out the couple they read about on paper or met at the agency doesn’t really exist at least not in the way they’d portrayed themselves.

And so I continue on, acknowledging my luck and recognizing all the reform that needs to be done.

Starting Over

I just unpublished every post on this blog all the way back to it’s inception in 2007. My summer break winter break spare moments will in part be used to sort through, edit, and republish some of those posts. Others will never return. My goal is to reassess what is mine to share and what belongs to others.

I’m a mother who relinquished a child at birth. It’s important to share my story, birth parent voices have been silenced for so long. I got lucky and have a wonderful successful open adoption which makes me a perfect advocate for reform. It’s harder to dismiss me as “bitter” (although not impossible). But no one lives in a vacuum and thus we need to be careful about only sharing the part of the story we own especially when the other owner is a child who has had absolutely no say in being a part of the story nor in the sharing of the story.