…blogging is free

Heather has once again saved me from doing work and posted the writing prompt for the 16th Open Adoption Roundtable.

Imagine your child as an adult describing their open adoption experience. What do you hope they will be able to say about you? How did you view their other parents? In what ways did you support their relationship with them?

I hope Kidlet will be able to say I am present, available.  That I was/am able and willing to answer any questions he has or discuss any topic with him. I hope he will say I am a good person.  I hope he will see me as family and not think twice about including me in his future life. I hope he will recognize that I’ve only ever said good things about his birth dad.

I hope he will view my interactions with his parents as positive, respectful, and friendly.  That I’ve never done anything to question or deminish their authority and have always looked to them to make the parenting decisions. I hope he’ll see that I’ve also treated his brother with love. I hope that my actions show my belief that even though you can’t choose relatives you can choose family; and his parents and his brother to be a part of who I consider my family.

I hope he’ll look back and see that he was always surrounded by love.

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Comments on: "Open Adoption RoundTable #16" (4)

  1. Oddly, I’d never considered that what first parents say about each other to a child will have an effect, but DUH!

    And this, KatjaMichelle, is so well said: “I hope that my actions show my belief that even though you can’t choose relatives you can choose family; and his parents and his brother to be a part of who I consider my family.”

    I appreciate Heather’s prompts for the same reason!

    • KatjaMichelle said:

      I try to follow the same rules i would expect of divorced couples parenting shared children. I don’t ignore the ex’s existence, for example if Kidlet does something that reminds me of the ex i tell him (or his mom if its a conversation with her that reveals the shared trait). I watch my tone to make sure i dont sound hurt or hateful. I want him to be proud of all his roots not just the ones he got from me. and if he ever has questions about his birth dad that M&J can’t answer and if the ex isn’t available to answer them I dont want Kidlet thinking he can’t ask me those questions.

  2. This is so loving and lovely.

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