…blogging is free

It’s that time again. And this time I’ll actually publish my post. This weeks assignment is to

write about a small moment that open adoption made possible.

Since I am indecisive I’ve chosen more than one…never have been one for following directions 🙂

Moment 1:

It was a hot June Day at the community pool. Kidlet quickly tired of hanging out with adults. He’d shown off his cannonball skills and decided to go off and play with his friends. KidBrother and J were in the shallow end of the pool. And so I swam and watched Kidlet play from an acceptable (to him) distance. Understanding his desire to play with his friends did little to squash the feelings of being an outsider. I watched and took pictures of both Kidlet and KidBrother and then I heard it, “Help me splash, Kat. Help me splash my Birth Mom.” In one shout to his friends Kidlet had included me and owned me at the same time. My heart melted as a splash war broke out. Splashing six year olds sent torrents of water toward me from all directions. I’m pretty sure I lost the battle. I’m certain I won so much more.

Moment 2:

Another June Day. This time complete with overbearing humidity. Kidlet is in the backyard with friends his mother, father, and I watch from the comfort of the air conditioned house. Soon after the play begins I see concern in his blue green eyes as he runs toward the house. “My friends want to know who you are.” He announces as he darts inside. Either his mother or I, or maybe both, let him know he can tell them. That he can just say my name or he can tell them more if he wants. He throws open the slider once more and before he even steps outside yells, “This is Kat my Birth Mom,” then ran to continue playing with his friends.

Moment 3:

It started with a simple wall post about a date. M responded with encouraging words and directed me to just be myself. I only half jokingly added that, “I don’t want to be myself, but since being you is already taken I guess I’ll settle for being me.” M was quick to reply,

since I see so much of myself in u – I think we can call it a draw

Simple words. Perhaps not even a moments consideration went into them. Perhaps she’s not aware of the overwhelming love I felt as I read them. I cannot think of a higher complement I could receive from her.

Moment 4:

There is a distinct moment in my head. One where M came down from the pedestal I’d placed her on. The moment I realized she was a real person. The moment I started loving her even more than before. A moment where I was very happy with my choice for Kidlets parents. But the details of that moment are not mine to share. As with the previous moments the details are ingrained in my heart and mind for all time.

These are the moments that validate Open Adoption for me.


Comments on: "Open Adoption Roundtable 4: These are the Moments" (8)

  1. This may be one of my favorites from this round. Thank you for adding it!

  2. thanksgivingmom said:

    “I’m pretty sure I lost the battle. I’m certain I won so much more.”

    This? I LOVE this.

  3. thanks for sharing these moments.

  4. This is a really wonderful post. Thank you for “drawing outside the lines” and sharing all four moments. They illustrate each in your triad so well, and especially the love and appreciation you share.

  5. Hi!, I have compiled a list of the top adoption blogs, and yours was included! check it out at

    You can claim your link badge at http://thedailyreviewer.com/pages/badges

  6. […] at Therapy Is Expensive offers four moments of acceptance, inclusion and affirmation–all of which would be impossible […]

  7. Just visiting from you post on birthmombuds. This post literally made me cry! What special moments!

    • KatjaMichelle said:

      Welcome and thanks for visiting! Since I’ve become such a crier lately (and in public no less which is a huge huge thing for me) it seems kind of fitting to have been responsible for someone else’s tears today, I hope they were good tears though!

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