August 12, 2009
· Filed under Adoption, Friends, Grad School, Unemployment, Work, dating
I logged into the adoption forums for the first time in over a month the other day. I read a lot, but couldn’t bring myself to post.
I’ve started several drafts of posts on various subjects. I can’t seem to finish anything.
My son turns 8 on Friday.
I gave a presentation on birth/first parent grief to my cohort of MSW students. I was worried because my professor is an adoptive mom and I don’t know what her view of birth parents is. She made a few faces i cannot interpret while I spoke but overall she seemed receptive. I guess I’ll see if my topic choice was stupid when I get my grade.
I’m socially retarded and emotionally stunted. Started dating “Sinatra” about a month ago. I keep testing him. He keeps passing. So I test him some more. I realized I’m doing it so I am trying to stop. Its hard. My bestie pointed out that unless i want her to be the only person I ever commit to I need to get over my issues. She said it much nicer than that. I’m scared.
I have to give notice at my job friday. It took me 8 months post lay off to find this job and now its down to drop out of school or quit my job. This will be the first time in my adult life I’ve quit a job without having another lined up. This also scares me.
Pregnant people are stalking me.
February 11, 2009
· Filed under Friends, Roommates, Unemployment, Work, dating
I GOT A JOB!!! Ok so its only part time and not even consistant part time but its a job! I”m so excited. I won’t know the salary details until later in the week but I’m already trying to schedule a visit in my head.
So after class last night I went out with some of the girls to celebrate my newly employed status. I happened to have a gift card to a local pizza place so we went there. Our drinks hadn’t even arrived when a man come up to our table and offered to buy us a round if we’d let him join us. This is typical for a night out with Roommate 2 she’s gorgeous and the guys flock to her. However, as the conversation progressed I started to realize he was talking to me .
To be honest it through me for a loop. Don’t get me wrong I’m a cute girl but I was surrounded by cuter, skinnier, definatly nicer girls. And whats wierd is I had no problem talking to this guy UNTIL i realized he was interested in actually talking to me. Then it got wierd. So at the end of the night he had my number and I had a date. Which I’m leaving for in just a few minutes.
February 4, 2009
· Filed under Movies, Unemployment, Work, family
For christmas I asked for gift cards to grocery stores and gas stations. Boring I know but its what I need. Instead I got gift cards to the movie theater.
I didn’t want to be ungrateful but I was really confused by the gift. I mean I like movies and all but even before the lay off I didn’t go see them that often. I mean have you seen the price of movie tickets?
Well today I used my movie gift card. I sat in a dark theater alone and forgot about the million things stressing me out right now. And I didn’t spend a bit of money. Ok well I guess I technically spent money on the gas it took to drive there but other than that not a dime was spent.
Sure when the lights came back up all my worries were waiting for me. But for that hour and half…it was nice.
In other news: I have a job interview on Friday. Please cross your fingers and think good thoughts for me. I really need this job.
June 6, 2008
· Filed under Adoption, Work, venting
I have to go to work in a few minutes but first I need to get this out. Since I’m writing in a rush there will be no time for editing so I apologize in advance for typos etc.
I am so ANGRY with my clients. I work at a small non-profit agency that offers transitional housing to pregnant and parenting young women 16-25. Many programs for pregnant women end services at or shortly after birth, not us. You have 2 years to take advantage of this opportunity. 2 years where you dont have to stress out about where you’ll live. All you have to do is follow some simple rules and attend EITHER work or school at least 20 hours a week. And for our pregnant/parenting clients we encourage school to be that activity.
And yet they can’t do it! they WONT do it! They break the silliest rules they put their housing at risk they repeatedly make the same poor decisions and then I have no recourse left. I want to scream at them If i’d known about this program and been lucky enough to have been offered a spot in it I would have followed these rules and so much more to have been able to parent my son. If I’d have had the chance you have right now I’d have given up so much to keep the one thing that actually matters. WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING!!! Ok so adoption is no where in there minds but is sleeping in your car with a one year old really better than not being allowed to have alcohol in your apartment (you can still drink just not at the apartment). Is being evicted with no where to go better than repeatedly missing curfew without leaving a message for your cm to let her know you’ll be taking a pass. (again they can sleep elsewhere they just have to communicate)
So yeah Im angry that they aren’t taking advantage of this opportunity and i’m jealous that they have this opportunity and ya know what its good that today all case managers meet with the clinical supervisor because damn I need it. Maybe i’ll bring up my feelings and see if there is a constructive way to communicate with the clients about how lucky they are to have this opportunity.
k now that this has been let out i gotta go to work
