For a long long time I’ve been convinced that I could have parented. That Kidlet would’ve been ok that I would’ve been ok. But maybe thats one of the stages. A phase if you will. ANd maybe now it’s time to come to terms. I’d have been a shit mom. I am a shit mom. I should not be allowed near children and should not be allowed to have any more kids. if he turns out well its no thanks to me not having me around is all i’ve ever been able to give him thats worth a damn it’s the only thing thats working in his favor.