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Coming to Terms

For a long long time I’ve been convinced that I could have parented. That Kidlet would’ve been ok that I would’ve been ok. But maybe thats one of the stages. A phase if you will. ANd maybe now it’s time to come to terms. I’d have been a shit mom. I am a shit mom. I should not be allowed near children and should not be allowed to have any more kids. if he turns out well its no thanks to me not having me around is all i’ve ever been able to give him thats worth a damn it’s the only thing thats working in his favor.

Comments on: "Coming to Terms" (7)

  1. Of course you could have parented. You are more than smart and capable enough. Just because a mother screws up somehow, in real or imagined ways, doesn’t mean she should not have parented. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t see how your absence could possibly be a benefit to Kidlet.

  2. You are not a shit mom. You are a wonderful human being. Be gentle with yourself.

  3. This is not like you to post something like this. I hope all is well with you. Please reach out and get help, lean on someone, if you are going through a rough patch.

  4. I am on the opposite side of this coin right now. Since coming to the realization that I was and am worthy of my child, it has created more heartbreak for me. It was so much easier to be separated with the belief of not being a worthy mother. Sadly those are the lies that separate mother and child to begin with. Now KNOWING I am a good mother and that my child would have been poor for a time but fine with me and coming to realize I AM her mother…those are the things that amplify my loss.

  5. Please don’t put yourself down like that – please put those thoughts away because they do not apply.

  6. Totally stupid attitude (and dead wrong). One that is fodder to keep the adoption records closed to adoptees too, so thanks shitloads. I think it would help everyone, you included if you would just not post BS like this.

  7. I wish I could give you a hug right now, even if you didn’t want it. I hope you know by now, a few days after this post, that you are R-O-N-G, rong.

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