While having drinks with IT guy last week the discussion turned to how much we’ve learned about ourselves recently and about being happy. I tried to explain how I feel about how he and I and a bunch of others in our circle seem to define happiness.
I tried to explain that we’re very immature in our view of happiness. That its a very black and white view for a world made up of shades of grey. He didn’t get what I was trying to say and I couldn’t really find the words to explain it.
Then this week I was schooled by TG the fabulous. She wrote about choosing happiness and in doing so said in part:
I smile more than I cry. I laugh daily. I don’t feel guilty for the good things that I’ve created in my life.
And thats what I was trying to say to IT guy.
That happiness isn’t the absence of real life tough stuff, it’s enjoying the good stuff anyway. I must admit I’m not there at the moment. I’ve been there and then I’ve regressed, but I know I’ll be there agaim. And now that is what I’m reaching for, I’ve given up on seeking that idealized happiness.
I feel I should have grasped this concept sooner, and been able to explain it to IT guy. How many times have I said adoption isn’t all rainbows and butterflies? A lot. So why couldn’t I explain that life isn’t all sunshine either. The rain will come (hell I live in the Pacific NorthWest so a LOT of rain will come) but happiness isn’t the lack of rain, its dancing in the rain, coping with the thunder, and enjoying the sunbreaks.
