I will be on my way to the airport very soon. I’m flying to southern California for my Great Grandmother’s funeral. I am not sure if i’ll have any access to the internet beyond my phone.
Archive for February, 2009
Rest in Peace
Today my great grandmother passed. We weren’t super close. I’m not super close with any of my extended family. One of the hazards of not living near them (and on a seperate contintent for awhile) I guess.
I spent the day at a training for my new job. I was distracted because my best friend’s mom was in surgery today. Heart surgery. It went well. I rejoiced. And then the news.
I’m in tears. No one thinks its appropriate for me to be crying. “she lived a long life”, “wait when was the last time you saw her?” “you’re taking this harder than I would have expected” are the responses to my tears.
In addition to being my great grandmother she is my son’s great great grandmother. Whom he never met and now never will. They shared a birthday 87 years apart.
I dont know what to say I dont know what to do I really just want to throw up.
A job and a date all in they same day…
I GOT A JOB!!! Ok so its only part time and not even consistant part time but its a job! I”m so excited. I won’t know the salary details until later in the week but I’m already trying to schedule a visit in my head.
So after class last night I went out with some of the girls to celebrate my newly employed status. I happened to have a gift card to a local pizza place so we went there. Our drinks hadn’t even arrived when a man come up to our table and offered to buy us a round if we’d let him join us. This is typical for a night out with Roommate 2 she’s gorgeous and the guys flock to her. However, as the conversation progressed I started to realize he was talking to me .
To be honest it through me for a loop. Don’t get me wrong I’m a cute girl but I was surrounded by cuter, skinnier, definatly nicer girls. And whats wierd is I had no problem talking to this guy UNTIL i realized he was interested in actually talking to me. Then it got wierd. So at the end of the night he had my number and I had a date. Which I’m leaving for in just a few minutes.
Maybe dad knows what he’s doing
For christmas I asked for gift cards to grocery stores and gas stations. Boring I know but its what I need. Instead I got gift cards to the movie theater.
I didn’t want to be ungrateful but I was really confused by the gift. I mean I like movies and all but even before the lay off I didn’t go see them that often. I mean have you seen the price of movie tickets?
Well today I used my movie gift card. I sat in a dark theater alone and forgot about the million things stressing me out right now. And I didn’t spend a bit of money. Ok well I guess I technically spent money on the gas it took to drive there but other than that not a dime was spent.
Sure when the lights came back up all my worries were waiting for me. But for that hour and half…it was nice.
In other news: I have a job interview on Friday. Please cross your fingers and think good thoughts for me. I really need this job.
Thrown
I was just sitting at my computer. Actually doing what I was supposed to be doing for once. I was transcribing the audio or a focus group. The participants were all teen females so I’m trying to make sure I have all the “like”s and “you know”s in the right spot when all of a sudden a messenger box is blocking my view. And its my most recent ex.
IT guy and I were friends for a long time. Then we dated. It didnt work so we went back to being friends. Then we dated again (way to learn from our mistakes right) So this time not only did it not work but we are no longer friends. I thought we’d find our way back to friendship but he is pretty adamant that “we need time to make sure everything is done” before we go back to friendship.
So here I am almost 6 months later having already come to terms with the rejection and being in the process of mourning the friendship that seems will never resurface. And wham he’s there on my computer screen blocking my transcription.
I’ll admit it my first thought was that he was reaching out that he wanted to work toward having a friendship again. So after answering his questions about unemployment (he joined this miserable laid off club yesterday) I told him I missed talking to him. He told me he missed our conversations too but still believes “we” need time.
So here I am wondering why if all this time is needed did HE initiate the conversation and now I have to return to mourning the friendship. But its like all the work I’d done on this subject previously has been undone.
I just dont get how I’m the emotionally stunted one in this situation.
