December 31, 2008
· Filed under Wednesday Whining/Wining
Somethings are going to change on this blog in 2009. While I enjoy having a place to vent (because lets face it no matter how great my friends are they really dont want to here it constantly) this blog has evolved into a 24/7 bitch-fest. And I don’t like that.
So from here on out I will reserve my whining for one post on Wednesday. And for those weeks where I don’t have anything to whine about, of which I hope there will be many, I will discuss wine.
Now I’m no wine expert but I do have a glass every now and then and since I’m a girl on a budget its usually (ALWAYS) the inexpensive stuff. If you’re expecting info about legs and bouquet you’ll be disappointed. (sorry)
To start it off I’m drinking something right now that is both pretty and tasty. I know that being New Years Eve I should have saved it for midnight but then it would no longer be Wednesday and I just had this great idea for a Wednesday theme.
I’m not a huge fan of champagne so while in the grocery store earlier this week I picked up a bottle of Barefoot Bubbly, White Zinfandel Champagne. What could be better than fizzy White Zin? Its actually really good and although pink is NOT my favorite color, its alright on wine.
Ok this is short because after all it is New Years Eve. Hope everyone has a good and SAFE one. Don’t worry I will not be driving me and my bottle of wine will be rocking out with the cats and painting my room I’ve put together an awesome playlist just for this occasion.
December 28, 2008
· Filed under My hair, Race
I just ordered over $80 worth of hair products. Well before shipping and handling it was only $65 but that was taking advantage of a buy one get one free sale.
For those who don’t know I’m black(ish). I’m mixed but have recently begun referring to myself as black(ish) for several reasons.
- hypodecent/one drop rule define me as black
- I don’t like the term African American
- I’m not 100% black (as some in both the black and white communities insure I will never forget -as if I could) and claiming to be black means denying 1/2 of me
- I like the suffix “ish” (hey I never said they were all intelligent reasons)
So like I said I’m black(ish) and as those of you who have any experience with mixed people’s hair know it can be complicated. Don’t get me wrong I am blessed with good hair. I have the type of hair that often leads people to claim they “have a little indian” in them. But good does not mean uncomplicated and I have the 25 years worth of photos to prove it.
I began trying to tame my hair at about the age of 13 and at about 20 I decided I didn’t want to chemically straighten my hair any longer. I currently have a handle on my hair needs but am still searching for the perfect product. I just ordered a new shampoo and conditioner to try both of which are supposed to be for my hair type. I also ordered a sampler kit of the rest of the product line.
I’ve previously used one product from this line and enjoyed the results but don’t want to fork over the major bucks for more of the same if one of the other products would be better and so once I receive my order I will begin experimenting. I can’t wait. Depending on the results I may even post a few pictures.
December 24, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized
Its Christmas Eve and I’m about to head to my parents house. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas.
December 22, 2008
· Filed under Pets, Roommates, family, sisters
Ok so its not a real syndrome…but it should be.
Mid November BabySister started having some issues with my niece’s daycare. SisterFriend and I started helping out by watching the baby. I was babysitting any week day that I didn’t have my internship assuming that BabySister would get the daycare situation figured out and I could stop spending every free moment with a 3 year old. (Whom I adore but really no one wants to spend EVERY spare minute with their neice).
So once or twice dad asked me what the deal was with daycare and I told him I ddin’t know and suggested he ask my sister. He muttered something about since it was me doing the babysitting I should ask her what the progress was. The second time we had this conversation I snapped. I reminded him about how he always gets mad at me for “picking fights” with my sister and how last time we argued she and I didn’t speak for over 6 months. I also reminded him that the holidays are fast approaching and told him I was not going to be to blame for ruining Christmas so if he wanted to know what was going on he should ask himself.
Overall I was pretty proud of myself for standing up to my dad even if I only stood up to him about my reasons for NOT standing up to my sister.
So since I started babysitting there has been to set days BabySister usually calls at the last minute because well thats who she is. So tonight she called and I had to tell her I wasn’t available tomorrow. I am taking my roommate to work at 10 (if my car will barely make it in the snow hers doesn’t have a chance) and have a vet appointment for Cookie at 1130. I let her know that I could watch my niece from about 1230 or 1 on but that prior to that I wasn’t available.
I’m proud of myself for not just agreeing to take my niece with me on my errands because a three year old at the vet is just not something I can handle especially when my nerves will already be frazzled due to snow driving. But at the same time I feel guilty. I feel like I’ve caused a problem by not being there to solve her lack of babysitting problem. But then again I can’t keep enabling her. At some point she has to get the daycare thing solved. IDK. Its a constant back and forth in my head. Someday I will have to deal with and write about my deep resentment of my sister but until then I’ll just hope someone finds a cure for Middle Child Guilt Syndrome. (i still think that should be in the DSM)
December 22, 2008
· Filed under Pets, PhD program search, Roommates, snowed in
The first snow of the season was on the 13th. Today is the 22nd. That is almost 10 days of snow. That may not seem like a lot if you are reading this from one of those places that is known for its harsh winter but for us that is a LOT of snow.
Usually it snows a little then melts, then snows a little then melts. This is rediculous.
Making matters slightly more annoying is that my roomates both went out of town for what was supposed to just be one night. So I have been snowed in with just the cats for company. I got so stir crazy that last night I walked the mile to my parents house, ate dinner, then walked home.
Roommate 2 finally got home this morning. But not until after I attempted to drive to my internship. I managed to make it off my cul-de-sac and drove about half way to the office before the anxiety got the best of me and I decided to turn around and come home. And promptly got stuck at the entry to the cul-de-sac. As on coming traffic approached. I ended up reversing and then parking at a drug store up the street and walking home. Hopefully they won’t tow my car.
Hopefully the roads will be drivable tomorrow because my new cat as a vet appointment. Yep you read that right I got my first pet at the age of 25. Cookie has been hanging out around our neighbors house at least since September. The neighbor has been feeding her but can’t take her in due to allergies. The roommates have been trying to convince me to take her for awhile but I have protested mostly because I can’t afford to take care of myself right now adding another living being to my care doesn’t seem smart. Well with the snow we have brought Cookie inside and she will be staying. The roommates will help out with expenses til I get a job.
Other snowed in activities have included re-arranging my room and looking into PhD programs. I won’t even be done with MSW until 2010 but since I had nothing else to do I thought I’d just see whats out there. I’m not really sure how one is supposed to choose a program.
Anyone know? Should I find professors whose areas of interest for research match mine and apply there? What if those profs leave the school before I start my disertation? IDK. Maybe next snow day I’ll look into it some more.
December 18, 2008
· Filed under Adoption, Unemployment, venting
This is about the time of year I start to plan visits. I look at what weeks I have off from school and then compare them to the breaks my son has since he’s in year round school. I try to book my travel plans as soon as possible in January based on the assumption that fares will only go up (not always true but I’d rather not risk it). So even though I’ve been laid off and unable to find employment and unable as of yet to convince the government I’m deserving of my unemployment insurance pay out I decided to look.
I didn’t even glance at airline websites this year why bother I already know those are out of the question. I started by checking out how much it would cost me to take the bus cross country. Well its good to know its possible. Of course since it will take more than THREE DAYS to get there and costs more than 400 dollars I will have to rule that out for two reasons. 1- its more than I can currently afford 2- by the time I get there I’d have to turn around and come home.
I then looked at the possiblity of taking the train. Knowing it wouldn’t be any cheaper but hoping it would be quicker I was very disappointed to find out there is no train service between my city and his.
I’m tempted to check airfare but I know its not a possiblity. Unless I land an amazing job SOON it looks like 2009 will not be a visit year.
December 18, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized
ADULT LANGUAGE FOLLOWS…dont say I didn’t warn ya.
What kind of Fucktard (told ya so) knows she’s so drunk that she needs to start drinking water NOW and then proceeds to get the smallest glass out of the cabinet. And of course doesn’t realize she could have gotten a bigger glass until she has gone downstairs 3 times (nearly falling each time) to refill it.
What kind of Fucktard? The same fucktard who was apparently sober enough to sort through saved emails from TWO YEARS AGO to locate a phone number but not sober enough to realize that calling that number was a bad idea.
So what kind of Fucktard did those things? Me. Thank goodness for voicemail and for being sober enough to NOT leave a message because I’ve heard the drunk voicemails I”ve left for my friends and they are BAD. Hilarious, but bad.
It all started with an innnocent bubble bath and a book and as I waited for the tub to fill I poured myself a drink. And then I decided to take the bottle in with me In case I needed a refill. 2 hours later I got out of the bath and felt AMAZING. I was relaxed, warm, and nicely buzzed.
And then I finished the bottle and got meloncholy which led to tears which tipped me off that I needed water. And then as a detour to my second or third trip downstairs I sat at my computer and found my son’s father’s email from two years ago with updated contact info. And so I dialed.
And now I’m slightly hung over and Babysister called and wants me to babysit. Yay for last minute favors. Babysitting while hung over sounds dangerous but I’m about to do it anyway.
December 15, 2008
· Filed under Uncategorized
So i decided to join Twitter this morning while waiting for my cul-de-sac to become drivable and quickly learned that NO ONE from my email address books is on that site. Are you?
December 14, 2008
· Filed under Friends, dating
I have rules about dating. Do not date friends. Its that simple and yet I NEVER remember these rules until its too late.
I made this rule after the five year relationship with my son’s father ended. I was never again going to lose a friend because I was stupid enough to date him. Yeah as long as you define never as “until I decided I wanted to date I.T. Guy” and that one didn’t end so well either.
So here I sit tonight, mad at myself for breaking the rule yet again. Well technically I did not break it. The rule says no dating and Cowboy and I did NOT go out on a date last night. We simply hung out and had some drinks like we always do. And when the light snowfall grew a bit heavier I crashed at his place, also not a new occurance. Sure some lines previously uncrossed have now been crossed but nothing MAJOR happened so technically I did NOT break the rule…
Ok so now I’m playing the samantics game but come on can’t I just blame my behavior on the first snowfall of the season?
The last time the last time this friendship inched in this direction I avoided Cowboy for awhile. Just long enough for me to forget WHY I wasn’t supposed to answer his phone calls. Then he called and our friendship picked up right back where we’d left it without any awkwardness at all. So how long should I avoid him this timeto let the awkwardness wear off? Or I could be mature and NOT avoid him. HA like that will happen.
I should just shrug it off now that I think about it this has been a pattern in our friendship since Jr High. We randomly creep towards a more than platonic existance and then we recoil and return to our friendship as if nothing had happened…until the next time.
December 11, 2008
· Filed under Adoption, Television, Think on it
A little over an hour ago I vented. I’m feeling better now. And with my calmer demeanor I have a gentler perspective regarding all this adoption on TV.
Its not perfect. There are a lot of stereotypes that are getting shown and not a lot counteracting that. BUT things are improving.
Izzy on Grey’s Anatomy is a birth mom. Her storyline hasn’t showcased that fact in a LONG time but that just shows that we aren’t one dimensional. She is also a doctor, a friend, a roommate, a girlfriend, and at the moment delusional. She is not all consumed she does have a life.
Brother’s & Sister’s really needs to stop using the term “our birthmother” but they are showing a potential birth mom who possesses postive traits. She is an adult, educated, professional (doctor), who stands up for herself.
Private Practice ok I haven’t seen the entire episode because like I said earlier I turned it off when it started pissing me off. BUT the pregnant woman was not on drugs she was not a teenager (well age wasn’t discussed that I rememer but she was in her 3rd year of college so I’m assuming at least 20).
So no, none of these storylines are perfect but they are bringing domestic infant adoption to the attention of the masses beyond what is seen in Lifetime movies. Are there stupid people out there who will believe that all women considering adoption are just in it for the expenses? Could they use this to defend calling their child’s birth mom “our birthmom”? Or say “Izzy moved on why can’t you?”? Sure,that could and more than likely will happen.
But I’m hoping that a majority of people will see past what is seen in an hour long episode of a sitcom. I’m hoping that this is one step in normalizing the reality we live. I’m hoping that script writers will continue this journey away from portraying us as baby snatching crack whores and come closer to showing the real normal people we are.
Hey a girl can hope right?
