April 23, 2008
· Filed under Adoption, Grad School, venting
In regards to my last post I’ve done some more thinking and as I see it I have a few options. The easiest would be to just pick a new population. Just select someone off the list of sites and go with it. Get the credits I need and move on. I don’t want to do that.
Another of my choices would be to select an agency whose values I do not agree with. It is a religious agency who I have worked for in the past. I have looked at their website and they have a program in which I could gain some experience with the exact population I want to work with. The down side is I cannot say the word abortion or birth control. Which means it is NOT UNBIASED COUNSELING. While they do discuss adoption and parenting which makes me happy they do not mention the third option and they do not give their clients any insight into things to consider in the future to keep themselves from having to go through the same experience again.
Now I could argue that if the client is coming to this agency they already know through the use of common sense that abortion will not be discussed and that they are already pregnant so the birth control topic isn’t that important. But somehow I can’t convince myself. And I’m usually very good at convincing myself of things (like how I just bought a new pair of shoes but I’ve convinced myself I NEED to go shoe shopping today).
I have a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach even considering interning at this agency but at the same time I want to cry just thinking about not getting to work with my desired population.
I don’t want to compromise my beliefs. But at the same time…
Well at least my adviser will be earning his paycheck tomorrow…I actually feel sorry for him. I wouldn’t want to have to bother with me right now.
April 23, 2008
· Filed under Adoption, Grad School, venting
I placed my son in August of 2001. In September I began working toward my Associates Degree. At first my focus was history, I switched majors several times before landing on one that stuck, before the end of my first year my concentration was Social Services. I decided that in addition to my AA I would also pursue a certificate in Social Services because I wanted to work with unplanned pregnancy/options counseling. No agency working with that population would allow me to intern with them at the associates level and so I chose to work with at risk youth. After obtaining my degree and certificate I transferred to a private university to work toward my Bachelors Degree in Social Work. During this time the closest internship I could get to my desired population was working in a Foster to Adopt program. I went in thinking I’d get some exposure to working with first parents. I didn’t and so upon graduation I still could not get a job working in unplanned pregnancy options counseling. And so after 2 years of working at a job that is rewarding but not where I want to be I went back to school. I’m now in my third quarter of my masters program. I’m in the midst of selecting my practicum site. I found the program I want to work with. I had it all figured out in my mind and now the rug has been pulled from under me.
The agencies I listed with my adviser of being my first and second choices have both discontinued their options counseling programs and thus no longer have a place for me. Apparently there isn’t a need for that position. Apparently more teens are parenting (good news as far as I’m concerned), and the population of poor people who tended to utilize the service are moving away from the city since they can no longer afford to live there. I get all that but what about the others. What about the non-teen non-poor women who are considering adoption? Don’t they deserve options counseling? How can you be an agency and not offer that service any longer?
Perhaps my adviser mis-communicated my desire and only told the agency I wanted to work with teens I will check in with him tomorrow afternoon and will ask that question. But I’m so confused. I spend so much time looking into agencies that were ethical that I in good conscious could work for. I selected these two after hours of research and this new has really shaken me. I pursued my degrees in this field for ONE reason and only one. I want to work with unplanned pregnancy. I want to ensure that unbiased counseling is given about ALL a persons options when they face an unplanned pregnancy. I wanted to get experience at an ethical agency so eventually I could open my own options counseling agency with NO TIES to an adoption agency. I had all these plans. And now? Now I just don’t know what to do. Like I said I meet with my adviser tomorrow maybe he’ll have an idea.
April 6, 2008
· Filed under Friends, Politics, dating
I started my new job this week. I LOVE IT! Okay I know it has only been 4 days so it could just be the honeymoon phase, but I LOVE IT. School also re-started this week. The same day as my new job actually. My week was just a little crazy.
Monday- Last day at old job, put in 10 hours training replacement. Dinner at my parents house to hear my sister talk about the vacation she’d just returned from with her in-laws (so many wonderful hilarious stories). Return home and promptly fall asleep.
Tuesday- First day at new job. First day of class. Return home and promptly fall asleep
Wednesday- Work, Out with Sister, Weekly outing with friends, Finally return to my apartment after leaving weekly plans early due to exhaustion and promptly fall asleep.
Thursday- Work, Leave the office at 540 when class starts at 6 can’t find parking arrive to class late (although mere moments after the prof who was also late), after class meeting with group, return to my apartment and promptly fall asleep (noticing a pattern yet?)
Friday-Work, meet up with my best friend whom I haven’t seen in person in probably 3 weeks go to dinner and a movie (which despite the building exhaustion I managed to stay awake for) returned to apartment and promptly fell asleep.
Saturday- 8am pre-legislative district caucus breakfast with IT-Guy, Caucus which lasted MUCH longer than anticipated, day with friend turns into date with post-caucus drinks and dinner followed by bowling.
Sunday- Woke at 630, Why? I’m not sure. My alarm is set for 1030 my family has baseball tickets for this afternoon but I could have slept in. But no my body won’t let me. The good news is that I have some time in my apartment before I have to leave. I miss my apartment.
Ok so back to Saturday. The Caucus was held in the gym of the high school both IT-Guy and I graduated from. Since we’re both delegates we decided to meet before hand and have breakfast as a local place. We both felt the HS flashbacks as the day progressed even attempting to elect delegates to the next level of caucuses was eerily like high school government elections. At some point a day of politics and sarcastic comments about the hell that was HS turned into a date (although very unhigh school as we were legally in a bar consuming alcohol). We even decided to continue the HS theme and went bowling which turned into cosmic bowling about half way through our game. You don’t get much more high school than that. We thought about go back and hanging out in the fast food parking lot after (jk) but we had to draw the line somewhere and that was too high school even for us. But really? Just as I was getting used to NOT dating IT-Guy, just as I was getting comfortable with our friendship again we had to go and do this? If it turns out well yea me if not then I have to adjust all over again. booo.
April 6, 2008
· Filed under Adoption
This post was inspired by a blog I read and responded to and mentioned briefly previously. I will not link to that blog or name any names my intent here is to discuss a concept that was raised not to bash the original author.
Are we a sisterhood? There are some who say that by using the pronoun “we” and referring to ourselves as a sisterhood we are naïve or ignorant (or perhaps both). When I said despite our differences we did share a common thread that gave us a common frame of reference it was again dismissed and so I responded with this,
“The experiences of how we became first mothers are all different. How we responded to becoming first mothers is different. Even if somehow two women experienced the exact same events that led them to become first mothers being that they are different people they’d have unique reactions to the situation.
And yet we are all first moms. And so yes there is a common thread there. I do feel there is a sisterhood among the first mom community and more specifically the first moms who have bonded through blogs and forums. And for me that includes feeling connected to first moms I haven’t even met and wanting to advocate for them as well.”
(there was more but it doesn’t pertain really to this concept)
So I ask, am I naive? Does the common thread exist? Does it even make sense to ask this question here since the only responses I’ll get are from others like me who are possibly naive as well?
